Just Give Me a Reason
by Cute-and-Nerdy1202
Summary: When a wife loses her husband she is called a widow, when a husband loses his wife he is called a widower, when a child loses both parents they are called orphans...but what do you call a mother who lost her child? Nadia tries to cope with life after the death of her infant. Unexpected events cause things to workout in funny ways. Loved, then lost, to love again.
1. Prologue

Prologue

Ever since my stillborn birth, people have been approaching me with a rather patronizing attitude. I can tell that they really don't care. As if I am not fully capable of processing the loss on my own child. The fools, they insist I'm in need of their fake sympathy. It's been like this every single day for the last year. People become friendlier and seemingly caring when baby topics are brought into a conversation.

"You would have been an amazing mother" or "I'm sorry he was robbed from you" "May he rest in peace" "I'm sure the next one will be healthy."

I guess it's because of my dedication in keeping the nursery I had built on my own when I found out I was carrying. It felt disturbing to throw everything away, and in a way made me feel good to know I had child. Had…

This year, this year was different. Today is the anniversary of my dead child. The nursery that I had locked away remains untouched. Everything in the same place I had left it in. The silly stuffed bear sits there in the awaiting crib, still waiting for its companion to warm the small bed…Morning comes too soon for me, it's my day off and I'm on leave for two weeks from work. The rain hits the windows with a calming pitter patter of falling raindrops. I sit there in the nursery for the first time in a year, I sit there in the rocking chair with my arms empty. No child of a year old, no laughter filling the room. A single tear streams down my cheek as I stare out the window. The room is dark and cold, not what I imagined the nursery to be.

I hold the bear I had bought for him, the bear to be his favorite toy, now it's my favorite…because it will always remind me of him.


	2. Say Something

Raph's POV

"So...this is it huh?"

I grunted as I looked at the wall where Ricky's crib was. Caitlyn said nothing as she looked down, her bags were packed ready to go. For the sake of not waking Ricky I kept my temper under control and did not yell and lash out. I wanted to. I wanted to yell, yell at her, hate her, say mean things to her. Make her see the mistake she was making. But I couldn't...I couldn't do it because she is the mother of my child. Some part me still loves her, but I know I can never truly love her after this.

"You already know the answer..."

"No...enlighten me again, why you would say the things you said for 3 years and then pull a stunt like this..."

"...I know it looks bad-"

"Bad? Bad doesn't even describe any of this!"

"We were young...naive. We just out grew each other"

"Outgrew each otha? Heh! So out grew me? Outgrew little Ricky? Wha'd ya expect when you got with a mutant turtle? You should get muther of the year award ya know that?" I said with disdain and fury.

"...it's just...I'm not happy...living like this...I can't do it anymore." she says as tears run down her cheek.

"No one forced in ta this, ya chose and didn't like the results...just admit it"

She looked towards me with tears in her eyes, I did not feel anything for her. My anger towards her was just too much, I looked away and seethed at the concrete floor of the nursery.

"I loved ya...I knew what I wanted, I put my family in danger, myself...justa be with ya...and in the end you're unhappy?"

"..."

"Nothing to say? Not even a good bye to Ricky?" I asked as I stared at the floor, waiting for an answer. "Say something!" I said louder.

"...*sighs*...bye Raph" she says as she grabbed her luggage and headed towards the elevator that would return to topside. I glared down at the floor. Hearing the elevator door slam, I reacted and finally punched the wall cracking my knuckles and managed to even break skin as blood trickled down fist.

Little Ricky began to cry startled by my yelling when I punched the wall. I calmed down and walked over picking up my son. I held him, trying soothing him down. Tears fell down my own eyes as I continued to sooth Ricky.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nadia's POV

Walking towards the cemetery felt like walking to my own grave. I stared down at the tombstone that had my son's name on it. It almost didn't seem real. I sighed heavily as I kneeled down to put the bunch of white roses and baby's breath. I sat down and pulled out my smartphone. I turned on my music as a song began to play. It was a song he would always react to when he was in my womb.

I sat there in a meditated state, imagining to myself that he was here in arms. Imagining that we were both listening to the instrumental music playing. With my eyes closed I could even imagine how he would have looked. I closed my eyes, enjoying the music, the wind blowing and his imaginary face. Taking a deep breath, I sighed as the song slowly came to an end. I opened my eyes and grabbed my phone with the song ending. With a heavy heart I stood and began my commute to work.

Reaching the subway platform I noticed the train about ready to leave, I began to run but failed miserably as the doors closed shortly the train began to leave. I sighed heavily. It's going to be a long day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

April chased little David as he crawled laughing and giggling. The little tyke was naked and running away from her trying to escape the bath time.

"Come here you little rascal" April said as she quickly grabbed him and began tickling him. He laughed as he squirmed in her arms.

"David evaded you again?" Donnie asked as he came out from his lab holding a piece of engine equipment.

"Well he does take the stealthy ninja skills after you Don" She said as they shared a kiss. David began to gum on his fist as he drooled every. "He's been doing that the last week, I think he's starting to teeth, the book says he is around the right age". Donnie inspected his son's mouth, and no doubt April was right, in the very front were two white specks forming on his bottom gums. "Hehe little guy is growing fast before you know he'll be doing mathematical formulas and figuring out quantum atoms!" Donnie said excitedly, April shook her head as she took David in the bathroom for her his, "Daddy is just silly isn't? You're only a baby after all huh Davey?" April cooed as David responded with giggles and grunts.

Don went into the kitchen to grab his morning coffee, when he got there Raph was already there sitting at the table drinking his own cup of coffee. Don got his mug and sat next to his brother. He knew the turtle was having a hard time, that's when he spotted his bandaged hand.

"What happened to your hand?" Don asked, hoping he wasn't poking the bear. Raph took a quick glance at his brother then back at his mug.

"Punched the wall..." Raph said as he took a drink.

"...How'd it go?" Don knew his brother and Caitlyn were having issues, believe or not Raph would at times vent to him about his problems. Maybe Raph thought Don could fix everything, even his marriage with Caitlyn. He took a deep breathe and prepared for a long story. Instead he got the shortest answer.

"She left, chose surface life over us...nothing else to say" Raph replied as he glared down into his drink of coffee as if the thing was at fault. Don looked toward his brother in shock. He couldn't believe it, Caitlyn just left? Her husband, Her mate, her own child?!

"Wait! What about Ricky?! I mean doesn't she realize—

"That she is also leaving her own child? Yea...she does...she didn't even say goodbye, or give him a hug or kiss...it's been 2 months since Ricky was born...and she barely held the little tyke...it's like she never really wanted him in the first place...I don't get it Donnie...how could she just change like that?" Raph's voice cracked at the last part as he faced the brick wall of the kitchen. Don didn't know what to say. If April ever up and left, he was pretty sure he wouldn't know how to handle it either. The most he could do is just offer support and help him get through this, as they always have as brothers, as a family. Together.


	3. Moms

April was watching her favorite BBC show as David played with his toys. She was currently bottle feeding Ricky. With Caitlyn gone, Raph needed family support even though he acted like he didn't need any. She took it upon herself to help with Ricky's care. While Raph worked at the shop with Casey's cousin, April would babysit. She still couldn't believe Caityln just left, the two women never really saw eye to eye anyways. When David was born, everyone was ecstatic. April thought Caitlyn would have been just as excited since at the time she was a month pregnant with Ricky. She remembered the face Caitlyn made when she saw newborn David.

In April's eyes she saw soft olive green skin that resembled Donnie's, David's back had no complete shell but remnants of it. His face was a replica of Don's with her own blue eyes. She was happy something of her was noticeable. When Caitlyn saw David she could see the disgust in her eyes. It had hurt her, and from that day on April and Caitlyn never got along.

"Oh Emma can't you see Sebastian is just no good for you?!" She argued at the English drama show. David looked at his mom before being distracted by his Legos again. Raph walked in carrying a motorcycle helmet.

"Hey April, thanks for watching Lil Ricky for me." he said as he walked over to where April was currently sitting. He sighed as he sank into the lazy boy exhausted from working at Casey's cousin motor shop.

"No problem, rough day?" She asked as she adjust herself.

"Yup..."

Ricky began to squirm upon hearing his dad's voice and began get fussy. April chuckled and went ahead and handed Ricky over to Raph.

"Hehe, what's the matter Ricky? Missing Pops already?" Raph held his son as he coaxed him to sleep. Raph noticed it was quiet.

"Where's everyone?" he asked as he patted Ricky over his shoulder.

"Don went to junkyard for some supplies, Leo and Rosa left to South America around 2 hours ago, and Mikey...well I'm not really sure, something about free comics and food."

Raph shook his head, "Has uh...Caitlyn come by..?" the slight sound of hope was etched in his question. He hoped that Caitlyn would change her mind. That she would see the grave mistake she was making.

April was a little surprised by his question but answered none the less, "No, she hasn't I'm afraid"

"Kay...uh me and Ricky are gonna catch some Z's, see ya"

"Alright, night boys" April said as Raph patted David on the head and then got up from the lazyboy and went to his room.

April sighed, she wished she could help, but knew there wasnt much to do but let time heal wounds, and hoped Raph bounced back.

"Frappe mocha caramel for Cindy" Nadia yelled out from the serving bar. Another busy day at Starbucks. The morning rush had not gone down and pretty soon they would go into lunch time rush. Days like these was almost a blessing, time went by quick, though she could do well without the rude customers.

"Green tea frappuccino!" she yelled over from the serving bar. A woman came and picked it. In a sling she had her baby wrapped tightly. Nadia couldn't help but smile. The woman thanked her and went on her way.

"Come on, Nadia...stop mourning already." Nadia convinced herself. As she whipped the counter clean.

Hours passed, and it was late afternoon. It was beginning to get dark. Nadia grabbed her coat, scarf, and satchel as she went to clock out. "Hey Christine I'm leaving now, Jane should be here in 30 minutes, let me know if anyone calls out"

"Sure thing boss, see you tomorrow" Christine yelled out from the counter. As soon Nadia walked out her phone started ringing.

"Hi Ma"

"Oh finally! You pick up phone, you know I been calling and calling and every time it sent to voicemail! I start to worry!"

"Ma, I was working remember? I told you this yesterday. Besides I couldn't use my cellphone, it was really busy"

"Nonsense! You should never be too busy to answer to your muqin. You just like your fuqin, that man always say he too busy to answer phone" her mom said as she continued to talk up a storm.

Nadia tried to walk and talk on the phone but with so many people on the street it was getting difficult, she made it to the crosswalk and waited to cross as heavy traffic sped by.

"That's because he is at work half the time Ma! Engineers are pretty busy people, you know what I gotta go I'm almost there anyways." Nadia said as she hung up her phone. She crossed the street and continued on her way for another 10 minutes before finally reaching her destination. A small Chinese restaurant packed with customers as always. Nadia weaved through the crowd and went to the back where her mother was cooking along with other workers. Her mother Vu, a master cook from China, had adopted Nadia when she came to America with her husband Jian. When hosting dinner parties, guest always complemented on Vu's cooking, with much encouragement from Nadia and Jian, Vu began her small business in Chinese cuisine and it has been a hit every since.

"Mama! I'm here" she yelled over in Chinese. Vu looked over as she smiled seeing her daughter. Vu yelled out orders to the workers as everyone else greeted Nadia. Vu came and gave her a huge hug and kiss on the cheek.

"My beautiful daughter, why it take you so long to come and visit. You know you I shouldn't have to call just to get your attention." her mother lectured as Nadia shook her head.

"Ma, I was just here the other Saturday, like a week ago"

"Not week! 10 days, that too long" Vu corrected, as she and her mom went to towards the back of the cute Chinese restaurant. Behind the building was a beautiful lush green garden with many flowers and a small waterfall with a koi pond. The tall bamboo and trees made very secluded and private. Vu had brought a tray of tea and Chinese sweets to the small garden table as the two seated themselves. Vu served the tea and prepped the sweets.

"Your fatha wanted to come for tea, but busy, busy, busy" Nadia began to prep her tea as her mother made small talk.

"He say new assistant is bright but careless. Always fixing little mistakes he leave behind"

"That's a shame" Nadia stated

Her mother looked at her, "when you going back Nadi? You not staying as coffee manager are you? "

"Mama" Nadia said sternly as she sipped her tea.

"No mama! You listen Nuhai." her mother said sternly

Nadia sighed as she put her teacup down.

"I know, it hurt to be betrayed. I know it hurt to be lied to. I know it hurt to lose child. But these hurts is what make you stronger, wiser. Starting with career, you too far to quit now!" her mother tried to encourage. Nadia said nothing as she looked down in her tea. Her mother frowned and spoke again.

"I too have lost child Nadia...it feels like half of you dies. Gone. But I got thru it, become stronger. Raise you, my lovely daughter. This too shall pass." her mother patted her hands and then changed the subject.

"You know that sniveling Kiba came by..."

"Kiba? What could he have possibly wanted?"

"What you think? He want you to take him back, he say he want to make amends"

Nadia scuffed at this information.

"You know what I tell him?" her mother said with a glint in her eyes. Nadia knew her mother very well and one thing she is known for is she loves to get her point across.

"I tell him 'he who cheat only cheat himself' then I sec Chow-Chow on him." her mother laughed at this as Nadia couldn't help but giggle too. Her mother was crazy sometimes. The laughter died down as a tranquility set in, it was times like these that made Nadia really appreciate her mom.

"Your rose bush grows" her mother pointed out as Nadia looked up and turned towards the white rose bush. It was growing quite beautifully. Its the rose bush Nadia planted with half of her child's ashes in the soil. Nadia smiled and nodded with agreement.

Having tea with her mom did make Nadia feel better, and she always was right about a few things. No parent likes to see their child suffer, and frankly that's all her mom wanted. To stop her suffering. Nadia knew her mom couldn't. In order for her to stop suffering Nadia had to do it herself. The two women talked about gossiped, catching up on things, reminiscing on past events. Soon it was getting late and Vu needed to supervise the kitchen. Nadia decided it was time to go home. Vu walked her daughter out to the front.

"Thanks for the tea Ma, really appreciate it." Nadia gave her mom a hugged who also returned the gesture.

"Remember, 'do not fear going forward slowly, fear only to stand still,' ancient Chinese proverb."

"Right..tell dad I miss him and I'll see him soon" Nadia waved goodbye as she walked on her way to the subway station.


	4. New Thugs in Town?

Ricky cried on endlessly as Raph tried to comfort his son. It was 12:30am, Ricky had already been crying for 15 minutes nonstop. Raph tried everything and franking he felt like losing his damn mind. A week had gone by and Caitlyn only returned once when Raph was at work. April said she came to get the rest of her stuff. At first Raph thought she had taken Ricky, but April quickly confirmed that she never asked to see Ricky. It made Raph angry, more so than when she had left on that day. Raph tried not to think about it as he rocked and patted Ricky.

"Come on Ricky, your Pa needs sleep too" Raph said as he continued to comfort his son. 10 more minutes passed and Ricky finally gave in, however so did Raph. He had fallen asleep in the chair of his son's nursery.

A hand had awoken him, he looked over to see Mikey, he had on the human clothes he wore when they went stop side.

"Dude you should get to bed, its 1:30 in the morning" Mikey whispered

Raph rubbed his eyes and looked to see Ricky had been put in his crib by Mikey. He left the nursery leaving the door open just a crack. He went into the kitchen and saw Mikey already there, he had a pizza waiting to be stored in the fridge.

"Where you been? You just get home?" Raph asked as he got a glass of milk.

"Yeah, around 1:00 o clock, as for where I been, I'm afraid that is exclusive my friend." Mikey grinned, unaware that Raph saw the dark purple hickies sporting Mikey's neck. Raph huffed at his answer as he smirked at his brother, the dweeb wasn't very good at hiding the obvious. The idiot forgot to cover up his little dirty dealings.

"Whatever you say, bro" Raph said as he finished his milk and went to put his glass in the sink. As he passed Mikey, he pinched his neck where his hickies were, causing Mikey to yelp.

"You should probably wear a turtle neck, you chucklehead" Raph laughed as he left a flushed Mikey in the kitchen. Raph checked in on Ricky one last time before he went off to bed himself.

Suddenly the mood changed when Raph entered his room, the very room he shared with Caitlyn for 3 years. Of course it had changed a lot from when he was 15 to 21 to 24. Up until he meet Caitlyn and she moved in. Her living here had changed from the bachelor turtle pad, to a couple sharing a space. Caitlyn loved Ikea furniture. Everything in here was changed to her liking, with of course some of his own taste.

It looked so lonely and empty now, even though the room was fully furnished. The fact that where her clothes once hung, was now empty, the pretty feminine candles that light the room and gave it a warm sweet smell has faded into the brick walls of the reservoir station. Raph just stared at his bed, he couldn't believe it, but he really didn't want to sleep in it alone. Opening the closest storage in his room he pulled out his old hammock and hung it up. He grabbed his pillow along with his blankets and slept there for the rest of the night.

Donnie lounged in the living room as David watched Mickey's playhouse on the tele. He kept Ricky close by in his swing as the baby slept. April had already fed him and went to surface this morning, grocery shopping was her little alone time for herself and the best part about it is that she had the huge turtle truck to haul all the groceries in. He sipped his morning coffee as he read _'Science Today'_. He heard a door close and saw Raph coming out of his room, he could clearly see the tired look on his face. Don had heard Ricky crying last night but when he was about to go check on him Raph had already beaten him to it.

"Geez, what time is it?" Raph sighed as he fell into the lazy boy.

"Its 10:30am already," Don implied from behind the magazine.

"Ricky wouldn't sleep last night, can't wait until he finally sleeps through the night completely". Raph yawned

Donnie laughed, "Yeah, that won't be for a while, still you should enjoy this stage it'll be the last time he is this small" Donnie implied as he went back to reading his journal and drinking his coffee.

Raph replayed what Donnie said in his head. He agreed with himself that Don did make a good point. Ricky will probably be his only child now that Caitlyn left. All he could think about was how she had no idea what she was going to miss out on if she really did stay up there on the surface, Ricky growing up, getting strong, learning new things, and talking. Raph shook his head as he tried to think of something else other than Caitlyn. He looked towards the digital clock on the television set and noticed he had 2 hours before going into to work.

"I better get something to eat before I head to the shop. Else I get too cranky"

Raph saw that Ricky was asleep and headed to the kitchen. Donnie shook his head, "what is he talking about, he is always cranky..." saying it to no one in particular.

April drove down the busy streets of New York as she headed to the shopping center, it was cold, Halloween was getting close and it excited her very much. It was the one time out of the year that her and Don could walk around on surface without Don having to hide in the shadows. Plus it will be David's first Halloween and she was dressing him up in the cutest costume she could find. She parked the truck and the first thing to get was a warm cup of that delicious Starbucks coffee.

Reaching the café, she immediately wasted no time and went inside. The smell of coffee made her feel warm and toasty, it had been a while since she had a drink from the café. Being a new mom, and running a shop, the woman had been nothing but busy. Grocery days were her favorite times. She was able to leave the lair, just relax and take her time. Not that she didn't like her life, sometimes a wife just has to breathe from outside of the home.

Everything was fine and peaceful in the coffee shop until a couple of thugs walked into the building. A few people decided to leave the Starbucks quickly. April was too busy looking at the menu to notice the thugs walking up to her. The barista behind the counter paled and stood there silent and in a loss of words, unsure of the situation.

"Hey!" She yelped as April was shoved by one the thugs.

"Watch it lady!" said one of the big bulky ones, the one with the Mohawk who looked like the leader and went towards the counter. "Alright girly you listen here we want your boss. Bring her out here and no one out here gets hurt.

The young girl nodded and quickly went to get her supervisor. Nadia was currently go over some documents when the barista barged in looking scared.

"Nadia! The there is a group outside threaten the customers if you don't come out and talk to one of them! What do we do?! I'm scared!"

Nadia was shocked by her outburst but kept her cool, she sighed and went towards the front. There she saw a skinny guy with a Mohawk and two brawly looking men. One of the brawly men was flinging a butterfly knife as he repeatedly caught it in his hand.

"There she is, Ms. Store manager"

"What is the meaning of this?"

"Now my boss is a very decent business man and like all business somethings come at a price, for example, your store is in his territory. Last thing the big man wants is letting you operate for free, think of it as a studio that your renting. You have to start paying"

Nadia scuffed and that made the leader grunt with agitation. "This is a franchised business; you need to leave the premises or I will call the police" Nadia said with a glare towards the leader.

The leader smirked and gave a hand signal. Everything happened so fast, April was grabbed by one of the brawly men, while the other had already had the exit blocked wielding a sawed off shotgun. Everyone including the young barista hide under tables and counters not wanting to be shot at.

Nadia gasped as they held April, and held a knife to her throat.

"What do you say now…Nadia?" the leader said as he read her name tag, he grinned showing off his yellow teeth. Nadia was scared for everyone's safety especially the woman they held hostage now.

"No no no! Look I'll give you the money just don't hurt anyone please" Nadia. Before she knew it Nadia had a gun pointed to her head as the leader forcefully grabbed Nadia forcefully shoved her to the back office.

"Hurry up!" He yelled as he pushed her towards the safe and kept the gun pointed at her. "And no funny business!"

While the leader went in the back, April remained calm and thought of her own plan, she could take these two thugs, she just had to do it with care, the last thing she wanted was for someone to get shot. She analyzed her cover spots and eyed her targets. They were big, but she was kuniochi.

"Hey what's that?"

"Haha very funny, but I'm not dumb enough to fall for that old trick lady"

"That's too bad, I was beginning to think you were that guy's dogs, since you know, follow commands so well." She said with a snarky attitude.

"Why I oughta! Ohff—!" April elbowed him in his gut, and twisted his arm making him release his knife. She pushed him into the other guy with the gun preventing him from shooting her at least. The two doofuses stumbled and were confused on what just happened. The gun flew a little ways, just as he was about the grab it April throws her tessen, knocking the gun further away across the room. She eyes them both as she gets in a stance.

In the office the leader heard the commotion, "What's going on out there!?"

Nadia flinched as he yelled causing her to drop some of the money. The leader grunted, "I said hurry up! Stop getting distracted bitch!" He hit her across the face making her stumble and fall to the floor. Her face burned from the slap as tears ran down her eyes. She was now frightened for her life, shakingly she began picking up the scattered money.

April was jumping around fighting the two brawly men. They were clumsy in their attacks and slow. This gave April the advantage, as she tricked them into punching each other as she slipped away in between. They were both dazed, grabbing her tessen she knocked one guy out, and faced the other one who regained himself.

"Heh! You slippery squirrel, you're going to regret that"

They circled each other in the now empty café. Just as she was about to attack the lights shut off around the whole area. She smirked knowing exactly who arrived.

The leader was not happy, "What the fuck! Can't you guys do anyth—Ohfoo—Ah!" Nadia heard a sickening smack and struggling in the front, before silenced was reached. The lights came back on quickly, all Nadia saw was the leader tied up and bruised pretty bad. She panicked a little and decided to go check out the front. She looked around and saw the same thing, both men tied up and beaten to a pulp. Then there was the red hair woman helping her young barista stand up from behind the counter.

The police had arrived within minutes, the red haired woman was questioned and then let go. Nadia was being looked at by EMT's. She could see off to the distance that the news was starting to show and set up camera's.

"Great, the news showed up" she sighed with annoyance, last thing she needed was to be on the news, she was tired, her face hurt like no tomorrow, and now had a long week ahead of her knowing full well corporate will be breathing down her neck. All that paper work to do now. Police had already taken her full report and now were assessing the evidence inside the store.

"You okay?" Nadia looked up and saw it was the red hair woman from earlier.

"Oh yea, I'm fine just swelling, are you okay? I mean they had you hostage"

"Heh, I'm fine, but they had you hostage too, don't forget"

"I'm just glad to be alive, my face will heal in time"

"April" she held out her hand

Nadia looked at her curiously then smiled, "Nadia" she says as they exchange handshakes.

"Well I'm glad you're okay, I just wanted to come and make sure"

"Thanks for your concern, really, I appreciate it"

A beep was heard and April pulled out her phone, "I better get going, my husband is starting to freak out. Take care Nadia"

"You too April"


End file.
